5 Ways To Support Your Sober Friends

What does it mean to be a good friend? We all give and receive love in different ways, but there is no substitute for quality time and undivided attention — that is especially true when it comes to supporting friends in sobriety.

When our friends are making an effort to grow in some way, there are few better ways to support them than being present and walking beside them throughout their journey. Choosing an alcohol-free lifestyle isn’t always easy, but with your support, your friends are more likely to make it to the top of their mountain.

Here are 5 ways to support your sober friends and help them make positive changes:

1. Don’t be weird about it.

There’s no need to draw attention to what a person is or isn’t drinking.

While we are all tempted to pat ourselves on the back from time to time, this isn’t the place to make a scene about what a great friend you are. If your friend is staying sober, the best thing to do is help them feel included — whether or not they want to explain why they don’t have a drink in their hand.

While it’s perfectly polite to ask once if a non-drinking friend minds you drinking in front of them, don’t keep asking if they’re “sure.” Establish expectations for the evening and then get Grüvin’ baby.

2. Choose activities that aren’t centered around drinking.

Consider how much alcohol dictates your activities. Going to wine tasting after wine tasting as a nondrinker is likely to get old fast, so consider mixing up your outings with other activities as well.

One of the most difficult parts of socializing while staying sober is finding something to do that doesn’t involve drinking. So be sure to factor that into your plans when supporting a friend who isn’t drinking. Consider heading to a tea room or coffee house for the evening instead of hitting a local brewery. Bonus points if there’s live music involved.

You can also find tips for throwing a sober-friendly party in this blog post (fair warning: the snacks are crucial).

3. Be their booze-free bestie for the night.

While many sober folks don’t mind being the only one not drinking, a little moral support can go a long way — especially if your friend is new to sobriety.

When someone first decides to go alcohol-free, it’s common to feel pressured to explain or justify their choices. So many people will make assumptions as soon as someone says that they're not drinking or that they don't drink. An important way to support your sober friend is to help them navigate those difficult conversations.

You can simply change the subject when someone asks or skip it all together by offering to be the one to get your friend's drinks whenever you get one for yourself. If you're drinking a cocktail and hand your friend a soda, people are less inclined to ask questions or instigate an uncomfortable probe.

Another way to show support is by staying sober yourself, even if it’s just for the evening.

Your friend will likely appreciate you being present and clear-headed throughout the night and your future self will appreciate waking up hangover-free the next morning. That’s what we like to call a win-win.

4. Stock your bar with NA options.

As we mentioned in our post on navigating the social scene while not drinking, having a drink in your hand can make anyone feel more included and more confident.

To support your sober friends, consider stocking up on Grüvis, so they can enjoy a delicious beer or wine with everyone else. Heading to a bar or restaurant? Call ahead and see what kind of NA options they have available.

5. Listen closely and be patient.

One’s reasons to remain sober may be deeply personal and tied to trauma. They may just be a matter of personal preference. There are as many reasons to be sober as there are sober people.

Despite this, sobriety can come with an unexpected stigma. As discussed before, sobriety often opens the door for strangers to ask very personal, probing questions.

With strangers at a bar or in a crowd of drunk friends aren’t usually the places where someone is going to feel inclined or comfortable with discussing their sobriety. So, if you have a friend who wants to discuss their sobriety or reasons for being sober with you, listen and avoid passing judgment.

Especially if they are motivated to stay sober due to addiction, a simple “thank you so much for trusting me enough to talk about that” and an offer to support them in any way you can will go a long way in helping them feel comfortable. Knowing that they’re supported and appreciated can be a very helpful tool in sustaining their sobriety.

Sobriety is hard, plain and simple.

Whatever their reason for embarking on this journey, your sober friends will appreciate having someone supporting them as they navigate the ups and downs of alcohol-free livin’.

Want to really show them you care? Send a case of Grüvis their way!